Some days I want to just throw stuff away. I want to toss old food inside a perfectly recyclable container, into the trash rather than compost the gross, moldy insides, wash the container, and take it to be recycled. I want to buy food in a plastic dish rather than make a meal myself. I want to see if real Drano works on my clogged tub drain rather than plunging for hours or trying the "green" version of Drano (which didn't work, though maybe Drano wouldn't work either?).
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When we first started Miomarmo and we were working on our mission statement, I argued against "developing earth friendly habits that fit your lifestyle." My reasoning was, if you're not willing to alter your lifestyle and not need everything to be easy, then you can't affect the earth's health in as positive a way as it needs. Building a 3,000 square foot house and then adding solar panels? You're still creating something much larger than you could ever possibly need (unless you have 30 children, this is just too big). Celebrities campaigning for a greener world while traveling around that world in a jet that uses more energy in one trip than the average person uses in a year—that's just silly. (Not to say they're messages can't be a positive contribution.)
But, now I'm building a house, and I already have a house, and there's stuff to get rid of like old insulation, tires, and treated lumber (that we didn't buy), so now how to get rid of it responsibly; and finding the materials we need for the new house without having to order green alternatives sight unseen because the local hardware store just doesn't have what you need, and if we could just go to the store and buy regular old paint that goes on nice and pretty and smooth but smells like death ... oh, how easy it would be to be the opposite of green! Did I mention I was tired?
About 20 years ago my mother read somewhere that recycling newspaper took more energy than it saved. And maybe that was even true then, I don't know, but she's clung to that notion ever since and throws away bags and bags of newspapers every year. I live 3,000 miles away from her, so I don't have much influence on her daily life (does that work as an excuse?).
My mother is an example of how much we want the easy way out (I hope she doesn't read this!). I sometimes envy her outlook and how easy it would be to just toss everything, forget about it, and move on.
As I'm learning throughout this process (this blog, building a new house, cleaning out the old one), when I can find a better, greener way of doing something, it feels good. It can be tiring, frustrating, and hard, but it feels right. The energy we have put into disposing of materials responsibly (by first finding someone else who could use it; secondly finding a way to donate it; thirdly finding another use for it; and lastly, finding the greenest way of disposing it, which hopefully includes recycling it) has not been wasted. I just have to keep reminding myself that forever I can live in our new house and know I didn't just add a bunch of new, toxic materials to the world. That I disposed of unneeded "stuff" correctly and responsibly.
Sigh, but some days I still want to just throw stuff away.